Anxiety attacks are going to be on a rise as our societies integrate, assimilate, connect and turn complex and complicated. The new norm will be the threat of some kind of terrorism lurking always in the background no matter how safe you feel on any given day. When someone becomes anxious, I observed it to be, in general, relating it to their travel, or to their overwhelming desire to protect their families, or to honor the long standing friendships, follow the code of ethics that governs their relationship with their colleagues at work and their responsibilities as community members and more importantly to reinvent themselves as these relationships take on new meanings as days go by.
I observed that I too get caught up with my current state of affairs on reinventing myself as an educator, get extremely anxious about the decision made; but I pull it together somehow, as I have to, since there is no looking back to continue down the path as a global IT professional. I always have a choice, as everyone else – give up or persist. Giving up does not produce results, hence persist to deal with the anxious moments. It might be the same with everyone else who are going through such anxiety attacks. I can’t be certain of that. A different perspective may be needed to wrap our minds around this – once for all. I am hoping to do it through the readers of this blog through some valuable feedback and insight into subsisting calmness in spite of calamities.
You have to lean on someone when a need arises, and this works fine when your are together with someone as a partner or as a friend. But, I have observed that the support systems that kept partners together are changing. I have become interested now, rightly or wrongly, in finding out how such support systems did exist or can exist. Learning how they sprouted to existence may help to create newer support systems that can deal with complex communities with ease and the communities intuitively benefit from their existence.
I know a family will be the first support system for most, but when the constitution and complexion of that system change, the dynamics will change and with that the purpose of that support system may change. Truthfully, many a times I have felt lonely even with my family around. However, I never felt lonely when I was alone roaming the world. May be I had a support system that I could rely upon for advice, especially by observing my dad who invented his own support system of astrology that created support systems for others. Most often than not, parents feel it necessary to create a support system by marrying their kids off and in doing so they believe that they have handed over their support system to their partners. It is up to the newly formed partnership, when things keep changing around them over the years, to discover other support systems to grow stronger. But I suspect, it might have also made them weaker by failing to notice the changing complexions of the communities and ignoring the anxieties that have been invariably creeping up with expanded connectivity of the communities.
An individual, per se, is not the main concern or worry. The support systems are. Even if I can be strong with a single support system, my partner could be stronger on other support systems than me. Many a times I wonder – does gender matter as a male or female, or, we are built differently because of our upbringing.
Best is yet to unfold in creating strong and meaningful support systems. We don’t want these anxious moments to define the life we lead. But we may not control how they come and go. We have to deal with them from experience and different perspectives that we develop along the way. I would say that it may not be sufficient just to console someone with words, but create a support system that can actually do a better job even when we are not around. We have to start somewhere, with someone and with something. As we stumble through the process we will start getting better at it. Better prepared one will be as time goes by.
Only the right kind of introspective questions will bring the right answers. The outcome should be to give a sense of satisfaction that we leave behind vigorous communities feeling that they have good supporting systems and have the tools and techniques to create more.